A lot of completely normal social media habits would have looked absolutely unhinged in 1985. Let’s translate a few modern online behaviors into real-world situations from the 80s and see how weird they suddenly become.

Airports are chaos factories, but nothing says “romance” like The Boy nearly doing the splits on an escalator at 4 a.m. while I cackled on my back and The Recluse pretended not to know us.

Every grocery trip is a low-budget Hunger Games, complete with squeaky-wheeled chariots, aisle blockers, and cart abandoners who treat the parking lot like a demolition derby.